Dear Ask American Woman

American Woman Magazine September 8, 2013 0

Dear Ask American Woman,

I often have dreams of being with my husband’s brother. I feel terrible and
truly do not feel attracted to him. I feel like I am lying to him by not
telling him about my dreams. I am so stressed out, and the more I think about
it the more I freak out! Help!

Stressed out Mum.

Dear Stressed out Mum,

There are so many causes of stress. However, any stressors we feel are the symptoms we have to deal with regardless of the cause. It sounds as if your stress is not about the dreams (and that they are of an intimate nature), but about sharing it with your husband. Perhaps the stress is over not knowing the possible outcome of sharing this with him and a fear that it will hurt your relationship. Your stress may go away if you just tell him.

Sometimes a dream is within our control by analyzing the meaning. Oftentimes, dreams are the body’s healthy way of dealing with desires. Your dream may have layers of meanings from emotional closeness and maturity to desires for different intimacies, depending on your current situation.

In general, my experience with men would leave me to caution you that your husband may be bothered with why you are having these dreams, and you do not have that answer right now. Also, he may have difficulty believing that you are not attracted to his brother simply because you can’t explain the dreams. So, when making your decision to tell him, keep this in consideration.

It may help you to get a better understanding of what the emotions behind the dreams are before deciding to talk to your husband. There are many on-line resources and studies for dream interpretation you can research. You may find that the dreams are not worth the discussion if you are able to figure it out.

Because you want to treat the stress symptoms, it may help to find ways to release that tension by exercising, relaxing, and taking care of yourself. This may also impact your sleeping patterns. If it continues to be distressing, you may want to seek help with a therapist.


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